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intrinsically simple yet complicated. something you made me realize about myself. tacit understanding, something i thought it was always there. luckily i will be having a distraction on that day but i'll be going to the place where i left most of my memories.

i tried to make myself really busy but the past just found its way into my life. get me to forget, if only the words came from your mouth. friendship, such a complicated relationship.

i learnt to approach others more carefully. something i got so immuned to. i took emotions off my driving seat and replaced it with logic. i walked through crowds trying hard not to feel a tinge of loneliness. i'm proud to say, i've never let solitude took over me.

don't be a loner, don't be a loner. talk to me about it. i'm just shutting up myself from things that will remind me of what happened over and over again in the past, i'm just trying my best to start afresh. but, thanks to everyone around, you made me miss every single bits of my past. i was happier, i think.

not that i'm not happy now. i am, in fact, doing fine. just that there isn't something i can look forward to everyday. even the frequency of the emails is waning. there isn't anything i can truly be happy over. perhaps the sweetest experience so far was ocip.

i have no one to turn to so i rather not turn to anyone. i'm stronger like that and i'm not as vulnerable. when i do speak, it is the truth. when you grow older, things become like that. you speak more but lesser of what you really mean.

it's just growing up. it is a painful process but it is an inevitable one. the pain one experienced from it will determine how much one gained. another learning point: if you are not doing anything to help, please dont try to help. It hurts more than not doing anything, really.


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i chanced upon my old journal, tossed it open and stoned the moment a photo in black and white slipped off. I was taken aback by knowing how much i've grown...

why does story always start with similar lines?
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MMHS!